interview (UK) by Catflap

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interview (UK) by Catflap

THE CATFLAP CHINWAG WITH.... THE HOOSIERS !

They're the band behind the impossibly catchy Goodbye Mr A. You know them as The Hoosiers. Funny that, because that's exactly what we know them as too. Meet Exeter fan Alphonso, Reading fan Irwin and, get this, Djurgarden fan Martin...

How did you come to support your respective teams?

Alphonso - I was born in Exeter, for my sins.

Irwin - I'm a child'O'Reading. You've got to respect your roots!

Indeed. So how do you see Reading's season panning out?

A - Relegation certainties.

I - Shut up, Alph. What you wouldn't give to be in a division you could get relegated from! After a shaky start (and middle) of season I think we'll cling on and get our act sorted for next season. You just wait!

Do you believe in the whole 'difficult second season' stuff?

A - You can't argue with the facts.

I - Like Coppell said, it's a lot to do with spending and few have spent as little as us on this season. I suppose I've got to agree with Alph, though I'd rather dip a toe in a toaster.

OK. Does it make you worry about your 'difficult second album'?

I - It would but we've already recorded it. In fact we recorded it before we recorded our first, just to get it out of the way. That's a lie. Expect a Greatest Hits for album two. That's also a lie.

Alphonso, what's going on at Exeter these days?

A- Having graced Wembley last season with a fine display - only to be beaten by Morecombe, we are in the middle of the post-playoff-final depression season. But we are playing some solid football and a glorious Cup run is on the cards. For the record Michael Jackson is not our chairman, although I understand Bubbles is running the under-15s.

Makes sense. Is Uri Geller still hanging around?

A - Uri Gellar is gone, hopefully back to Reading. That season was disastrous. We nearly had Gazza manage us, Lee Sharpe played/hung out for a couple of games and we finally got relegated from the Football League. So the Geller, Jackson, Blaine gang can suck my bum.

Martin, are DjurgÃ¥rden any good?

Martin - They won the Swedish League about two years ago. Anders Limpar (known for a few seasons at Arsenal) and Andreas Isaksson (Man City) used to play for them.

Do you follow any British teams?

M - Not one in particular. I enjoy when Swedes score goals cause I can tell Alph and Irwin that it reminds me of the fact that England hasn't beaten us in 40 years.

Steady on. Know any amazing football stats?

A - As I understand it no player over the height of 6.2 has ever scored an overhead kick at Stamford Bridge in March.

I - The earliest prototype footballs were made of glass. Also a lie.

Thanks for those. We hear Alphonso and Irwin went for trials in the States, how did they go?

A - Ace, I scored a twin bag of upper nineties and Irwin bagged four consecutive bullet thwarts.

I - So well that we were back in Blighty in time for beans on toast.

Will Beckham make any difference over there?

A - While it owns all the players and they keep in place their stupid collegiate system soccer will never be world class - which is a shame because they have some classy players out there. But haven't they always had megastars ending their careers Stateside? I don't think it will make much difference in the long run.

Is the standard really as bad as is made out?

A - No. It's just not comparable to the Premier League.

I - I was very impressed with how athletic the players were. I think drinking age being older (21) helps. In turn, this offered us little chance.

What will happen first; The Yanks embracing football, or the Hoosiers to hit the top of the billboard charts?

A - Hopefully both?

I - Or all three.

Have you ever played in any celebrity football tournaments?

A - No. But we have been hammering our support band Grace on tour. We'd love to though. We will be a solid defensive unit.

Which celebs would you most want to play against?

A - I'd love to tackle Kasabian, apparently they are pretty handy.

Which Ray are you most worried about? Parlour, Wilkins, Stubbs, Houghton or Clemence?

A - All I can think about is the story of when Ray Parlour sat down in Glenn Hoddle's faith healer chair and asked for a short back and sides. I love gingers.

If you could have any footballer in your band, who would it be?

A - Ray Parlour. He should really set up a tanning salon. Maybe next door to Paulo's Wandshop.

I - We like a good word play, but we LOVE a bad one.

Who is your favourite Mr A in football?

A - Arsene Wenger: genius.

I - Alan Shearer. Kept England a force to be reckoned with for years.

If your band was a football team who would it be?

A - Chelsea: great players, sh*t manager.

Would you prefer to be a footballer or musician?

A - Footballer: they only work three hours a week.

Who do you think sleeps with more women?

A - Definitely not us. We don't believe in it.